Lawrence Barriner II

"everything changes, everything is connected, pay attention." — jane hirschfield

#thisiz30 (thx for the brilliant photo,  maureen )

#thisiz30 (thx for the brilliant photo, maureen)

follow up links

lawrence's 30th birthday weekend

this birthday weekend is my best attempt at planning my own perfect weekend (like… actually just a regular ass weekend), but scaling it up so that all yall could join me for it. i’m very interested these days in practicing integrity (as in “to integrate; the state of being whole and undivided; the condition of being unified, unimpaired, or sound in construction”) and bringing all the pieces of me together. this weekend (i hope) is an expression of me being the me-est me i’ve ever been.

plz take 5 minutes and read this whole page. there will be a quiz.


below is a link to the google doc with the transportation plans. if you have questions, lmk or connect with each other.

also, PLZ try to keep the document as updated as possible. really want to make sure no one gets left behind.

the house


address: 125 Lasher Rd Big Indian NY 12410 (google map)

check in is 3p on friday. checkout is noon on sunday.

the car i'm in will hopefully arrive the earliest on friday and depart the latest on sunday. so we should be able to handle opening and closing it up.

the code for the house door is 4137.

the landline at the house is (845) 254-8067.

Weather (UPDATED)

looks like we might be indoors a lot! bring games and books for real.

sleeping arrangements

  • the house has 7 bedrooms and sleeps 21 40 people. given late arrivals and early departures, the numbers should work out. sleeping details will be posted here soon. hopefully folks can be flexible; we’re aiming to make sure the light sleepers, heavy sleepers, snorers, and frequent bathroom runners all get what they need!


  • snacks and drinks: everyone should plan to bring (or stop on the way) and stock up on things you want to eat. please get a little more than you'd like to eat and then we should have plenty o snacks and drinks

  • meals: 

    • dinner friday: folks in my car will make vegetarian (no soy or tofu) sweet potato & black bean chili, cornbread, and rice. as other folks arrive, everyone should serve themselves. 

    • breakfast saturday and sunday: i'll make lots of granola and buy yogurt. anything else is up for grabs. i lean towards not having big breakfasts for this weekend (see upcoming silent mornings bullet) but if someone(s) wants to plan it out (and make it non-verbally), be my guest. 

    • dinner saturday: wildcard! let's figure it out. there's a grocery store 10 mins away and several amazing cooks in the crew. there are several vegetarians and pescatarians so this meal will be veggie by default, though meat is encouraged to be cooked on the side and added.

    • lunch sunday: eat leftovers.

silent mornings

  • saturday and sunday morning will be silent until 10:30a. this is a practice i picked up from that a fellowship on a farm i had in 2016 and it was fucking magical. it encourages sleeping in, self-reflection, reading, walks, and helps balance introverted and extrovert needs. it's a little awkward and very funny (non-verbal communication is fine if you must) but it's super great imo and if you aren't up for it, do it for me? ^_^


  • you are all literally so fucking cool. my highest aspiration is for you each to leave loving one new person in this community. as such, please get to know each other! like... really. 

  • i was gonna make nametags, but instead i'm gonna make a photo-wall. i'll find a photo of you (unless you email me one) and then print them and post them on a wall or something. it’ll be a little awkward but learning each other’s names fast will be way less awkward than most other alternatives.

  • i would love nothing more than to never be the center of attention during the weekend (and i know yall probably won't let that happen, but still figured it was worth saying).

  • i can feel in body how excited i am for yall to meet each other

  • the questions “what do you do?” and “what do you do for work?” are banned for this weekend. here are some alternatives, but feel free to throw in your own. also, your answer can different depending on who asks you and when!:

    • what do you do for fun?

    • if you could do anything with your time, what would you do?

    • will you tell me your life story in 5, 10, or ___ minutes?

    • how has your 2019 been so far?

    • what are you dreaming (sleeping or waking) about these days?


  • idk about yall, but i love reading and so plan to do several hours of it. bring books if that’s your thing.

  • i love board games and hope to play some. i’ll probably bring set and settlers of catan.

  • i will bring my bluetooth speaker and hope that dancing happens m/any moments. please bring yours if you want. little would make me happier than several simultaneous dance parties with different vibes.

  • friday night is the april full moon... what to do...?

  • i hope the majority of the time is spent talking to each other, going on walks or hikes, sleeping, and cooking/eating (most of yall probably know that doing those things = the most authentic birthday party i could ever have LOL). 

money and gifts

  • in my mind, this birthday gathering is an investment in liberation. full stop. given that, i would be 100% happy to fund the entire house and any group food myself (#jetbluecreditcardpoints). AND i know that many of yall wouldn't let me do that even if i wanted to. so, in case you wanted to know, the house rental totals $2032. if you want to contribute financially, venmo me (@lawrence-barrinerII) whatever you want, but know that i am not expecting anyone to contribute anything. i love the framing of wealth that is it measured by how much you give, not how much you have accumulated. 

  • the only gift i really want is some linen bath towels.

  • if you really want to get something:

    • step 1: please refer to my love languages (link)

    • step 2: proceed.


the house has it. hopefully it's strong, but no promises. 

tech sabbath

my plan is to be off my phone and computer from sundown friday (733p) to sundown saturday (734p). this could be tricky for folks traveling to the house BUT the land line at the house is (845) 254-8067. 

FAQs and what else?

have a question? want me to add something here? lmk!